Sunday, February 24, 2008
John 3:25-30
Senior Pastor
I was appointed to be an associate pastor at the Boston Avenue United Methodist Church in Tulsa for fourteen years before being sent here to serve as your pastor. During that tenure I saw a number of other associate pastors come and go – most of the time there were eight associates on staff there. One thing I noticed that happened to many of them, after being there for awhile, is that they would disagree with a decision the Senior Pastor made and then begin to second guess his judgment. A few of them even got to the point where they began to believe that they could lead the church more effectively than Dr. Biggs.
They became confused about their role at the church and it
lead them to begin to spend time and energy, mostly negative energy, on
nonproductive pursuits. Because of
their confusion about their role, they ended up with the wrong focus.
In our story today some of the disciples following John the Baptist seem to be on the verge of making this same mistake. In verse 26 they come to John and ask about the one who was with you, who is now baptizing and everybody is going to see him. What are we going to do about this upstart?
John the Baptist, being a wise man, gives several answers in his response - but I want to focus particularly on the very end of his response. In verse 30 he concludes with this: He must increase, but I must decrease. What I want us to notice is how clear John is about his role. John is living in the present. He says I was called by God and sent ahead, but now Jesus is here and I am happy about that. I was popular but now Jesus is the one. He must increase, but I must decrease.
I think if we could apply this to our important personal relationships it would help us a great deal. Too often we fail to live in the present. When there is trouble in relationships, it is common to hear one of the parties say I was expecting this or I thought he was going to be like this but he is not. The focus, sometimes even years into the relationship, is still on the gap between what I first expected and what I have right now.
Early in my ministry I worked at a church with a counseling center and part of my job was to see clients each week. I was surprised at how often the problem a couple or family presented was not so much about the current behavior itself but how it didn’t match the expectation or hoped for behavior of the other person.
It often happens between spouses. I worked with a couple who got married during the 80’s when oil and gas prices were really good – he was an independent oil man. The woman married this fellow because he always seemed to have lots of money to spend on her. Then the economy turned, soon after marriage, and he never had the cash flow that she had seen early on. They had all kinds of problems when I talked with them, but finally she just came out with it one day. She said, “I am just so disappointed that he doesn’t make the money I thought he would.” Then she went on for another half hour lamenting that. Now realize that they had, by this time, been married nearly fifteen years.
Or you have seen the family where the child doesn’t live up to the preconceived notions the parent has for the child. Dad thought his son was going to be athletic and maybe even go on to play college ball. But it turns out his son doesn’t particularly care for sports and would actually prefer to play the violin and the piano – turns out he is a very bright child and actually quite gifted in the musical arts. But Dad can never embrace that fact because he is still focused on complaining that he doesn’t want to throw the ball around.
It is not too difficult to imagine John the Baptist responding to his disciples with something like, “I know they are all going to see Jesus. Can you believe that? Who does he think he is? I baptized him. I taught him and mentored him and now he goes off like he is some big shot baptizer. I was the original baptizer. After all, I invented baptizing out here in the river.”
But not John the Baptist – John the Baptist was clear about his role and is living in the present. He must increase, but I must decrease.
What about you? Are
there some relationships in your life where you need to refocus your
energies? Sometimes it happens in our
marriages, sometimes with our kids, sometimes with our parents. It can happen at work or with our grandkids
or with our cousins or close friends.
Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is grieve what might have been
so that we can receive what actually is.
Sometimes we have to grieve what was lost so we can honor and enjoy
what we have.
Mark DeYmaz pastors a multi-ethnic church in Arkansas and has written a book about the dynamics of working with a population that is very diverse. Throughout the book he shares short vignettes about how that experience has impacted individuals in that congregation. He shares the story of Ann Chami. She was a very devout Christian woman, a schoolteacher for some twenty years. When she heard about this multi-ethnic church forming, she believed God prompted her to become a part of it.
It was a fine experience but became much more personal a few months after 9/11. A man from the Middle East came to the church and eventually converted from Islam to Christianity and joined the church family. Ann became acquainted with him and they became friends and the relationship deepened until she felt she was falling in love with him. She could not believe it; she began to worry what her friends would think. She says she actually prayed to God starting with “Why? All my life I have dreamed of being married to someone who shares my interests and understands my world. There must be some mistake!”
But she goes on to say that over the next few days God showed her that he was the one for her. And now, married more than five years, she says she cannot believe how richly blessed she has been through this relationship. This relationship has been the greatest adventure of her life. (Building a Healthy Multi-Ethnic Church, p. 92-3)
I heard a preacher one time say that the question after death will not be: Why didn’t you become great or why didn’t you become famous? And the question will not be: Why weren’t you more like your brother or your sister or why weren’t you more like that smart friend of yours or that person you admired. No, no. The question will be: Why didn’t you become you? As I was sharing with a Sunday School class last week, the great thing that becomes clear as we read through the Bible is that God loves imperfect people. God values who we are and the gifts we can offer. And yet, God invites us to grow.
I think John the Baptist is growing in his spiritual maturity
even as his popularity wanes. He
responds to his disciples by saying: You yourselves are my witnesses that I
said, ‘I am not the Messiah, but I have been sent ahead of him.’ He who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and
hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. (v.
28-29)
How can you find joy even in changing circumstances? How can you embrace friends and loved ones even when they do not meet your expectations? Are you living in the present? Would changing your focus open the door to more blessings in some of your relationships? Can John the Baptist help you bridge the gap between the relationships you hoped for and the relationships you have?
This week one of you emailed me a story I have seen before but gives powerful insight. It is a story of a man at the doctor’s office, but obviously in a hurry. Finally he tells the nurse that he has another appointment and needs to be on his way as quickly as possible. She inquires where he must be and he tells her that he needs to be at the nursing home where his wife is living so that he can have breakfast with her.
The nurse asked if
she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not
recognized him in five years now. With
surprise the nurse asks, "And you still go every morning, even though she
doesn't know who you are?"
He smiles and adds, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she
is."
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
Amen and thanks be to God.
Bridging
the Gap…
Because of their confusion about their ________ they
ended
up with the wrong focus.
What I want us to notice is how clear John is about his
role.
John is living in the ______________.
Too often we ________ to live in the present.
…was not so much about the current behavior itself but
how
it didn’t match
the expectation or __________ for behavior…
But Dad can never embrace that fact because he is still
______________ on complaining…
– John the Baptist was clear about his ________
and is living in the present.
Sometimes we have to grieve
what was lost so we can
__________ and enjoy what we
have.
Why didn’t you become ______?
…that God loves __________________ people.
v. 28 - 29
How can you find joy even in changing circumstances?
Are you living in the ______________?
Can John the Baptist help you bridge the gap…
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just ________ the ________ of
everything they have.
Kid’s question:
What do the happiest people do?