Sunday, July 5, 2009
Exodus 20:12
Senior Pastor
A new priest at his first
mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor
replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous at the pulpit, I put a glass
of vodka next to the water glass. If I feel I am getting too nervous, I just
take a sip.”
The next Sunday
the young priest took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he was feeling
nervous and took a good long drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. He talked
about Jesus and his disciples and Moses and the commandments. When he was done, he felt quite good about
the whole thing.
Upon his return
to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door from the
monsignor:
1) Sip the vodka; don't gulp!
2) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
3) There are 10
commandments, not 12.
Today
we are talking about the Ten Commandments.
We come to number 5. Honor
your father and your mother.
We
began back on the first Sunday of June looking at number one and two. 1. You shall have no other Gods before
me.
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol.
Then
we spent a week on number 3. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of
the Lord.
Week before last we dealt with number 4. Observe the
sabbath day and keep it holy.
I suggested that it could be quite useful to us to memorize these commandments as we move through them this summer. It might be a fun family activity to do together – to help each other memorize them. Maybe you could post them on the fridge or on a bathroom mirror. You might quiz each other during the week and see who can recall them most accurately. Learn them, internalize them, commit them to memory – doing so will prove to be a boost to your spiritual life and your Christian walk. They will help you make decisions and keep your priorities in perspective in such a way that will lead you toward a more abundant life with God.
After all, the first four are all about establishing and maintaining a vital relationship with God.
But with number 5 we move from commands about our relationship with God to commands about our relationship with other human beings. Number five deals with our relationship to the people without whom we would not even be alive. Without our father and mother we would not be here at all. It is the most basic and one of the most important relationships for every human being. So much of what happens the rest of our lives revolves around how this initial relationship works or fails to work.
Sister Joan, in the book I am recommending to all who want to do some extra study and reflection on these commandments, writes about the structure of early Israel, which provides the context for this commandment. She writes that their society began with family, as ours does, but then families were encompassed by clans, and clans by tribes. This system with family at the center was the basic unit of the society and “provided the kind of support system that our own world of small, far-flung nuclear families cannot provide” in this day and age. (p. 53)
She goes on to discuss the importance of tradition and ancestors and lineage. Judaism had a great reverence for its elders and sages, both men and women she points out. “No one can simply be thrown away as useless, a common practice in some ancient societies when food became scarce or the elderly became a physical burden. To be family, after all, is to be in relationships that are continuous and permanent, not discrete and temporary.” (p. 54)
The logic of the order of these commandments, I think,
comes into play to make sense of this fifth commandment. Now the expectation is that our fathers and
mothers are worthy of honor. This
system of society assumes, hopes, counts on the fact that mothers and fathers
are worthy to teach and lead. And, of
course, if they follow the first four commandments, that is, if they have a
vital relationship with God and follow the leadings of God, then they are worthy.
Remember in the days of Moses, there are no public schools or preschools, there are no libraries or other options. Learning about life had to come from the parents. Parents provide everything. Their society needed responsible, responsive and attentive parents. And parents like that provided direction and nurture and identity for their children.
We have a saying in our house when anybody is getting ready to go on a trip or out for an evening: “Remember who are and where you come from.” Some friends and mentors of sorts told how when they were growing up their parents would always remind them before they left home to “remember who are and where you come from.” Mary and I really liked that and have used it with each other and with our kids often. It places one’s life in a bigger context than I am an individual. It pays homage to the fact of life that we all come from a family, a larger entity that has a history and a reputation and values that we do well to remember.
God has given us parents to get us to adulthood. When they follow God and provide a supportive base, we thrive and grow and that is very good news for us. They are not perfect; they all have their quirks and flaws. “We do not honor them for that. We honor them because they did what they could in making us what we are,” Sister Joan writes. (p. 59)
Kevin Tully is our United Methodist Pastor at First Church in Bartlesville. He was preaching on this commandment a few years ago and said, “God has given our kids to us --- but God has also given us to our kids.” We are to be the ones that primarily teach them about God and love and honor and virtue and service. When we take that role seriously and give it the time and attention it calls for, then we honor our kids. We make one of our biggest contributions to society and to the kingdom of God. And, of course, they learn it primarily through experience, some through talking and discussion and reflection, but primarily through raw experience. Parents and grandparents honor your kids and then, when they have a chance, they will honor us.
Kevin
told the story of a friend who cared for an aging parent with Alzheimer’s. She said, "My mother taught me things
as long as she was alive. When I was young, she taught me with words, and then
she taught me by example. But the last years of her life, she taught me by
giving me a chance to practice what she'd taught me -- patience, commitment,
dedication, and compassion."
(Sermon 8/12/01)
It’s
a lesson that we all would do well to practice.
________ your father and your mother.
1.
You shall have no other Gods before ___.
2. You shall not make for yourself an ______.
3.
You shall not make wrongful use of the _______
of the Lord.
4. Observe the ___________ day and keep it holy.
You
might ______ each other during the week…
But with number 5… commands about our
relationship with other ________ beings.
…families
were encompassed by ________,
and
clans by tribes.
…if they have a vital relationship with God and follow
the ____________ of God, then they are worthy.
“Remember
who are and where you ______ from.”
“God
has given our kids to us ---
but
God has also given ___ to our kids.”
Kid’s
Question: Who are we to honor?